Best Family Law Questions and Answers

Question: My son is now 10 years old. When he was much younger, his father would pay sporadically over the years, and I have been supporting him. I recently married a man who loves my son dearly as his own. We want to change his surname, but I need his father’s permission. He said it’s fine, but I need him to send me the forms to give his consent. I have been waiting for over a year now, and he keeps saying he will send them. I feel that if he doesn’t want me to change his surname, then he should contribute financially and help more, which he has not done in many years. Please advise me.

Answer: The father will always have an obligation to support his child. Approach the Maintenance Court as soon as possible.

Question: Father and mother separated when she was pregnant. I also have a question to ask, or questions rather. My son’s father and I separated when I was just a few weeks pregnant; he left me for someone else. I went through the whole pregnancy alone, and he never took responsibility for it. To ease the pressure on my pregnancy, I left him alone. We talked occasionally and would even buy some preparatory baby items for the unborn child when asked; that only happened twice. We never truly spoke, and when the baby was born, as much as I hated it, I knew I had to let him see him and put our differences aside. It felt like we started on a new page. However, when asked to support the child, he always made it seem like I was nagging, or he made it look like he was doing me a favour. Every month, I had to remind him of the support needed; sometimes, he went months without helping. I eventually stopped asking him altogether and blocked him on other platforms, so he hasn’t seen his son in nearly three months. I have been taking care of everything myself, and even when he gave something, it was very little compared to what he receives, and I earn way less than he does. I have filed for child support, with a hearing scheduled for April. Given these circumstances, is there any chance that the courts won’t side with my case? Did I do anything that might jeopardise the case? Also, what proof or tips would I need to strengthen my case?

Answer: For child maintenance, the courts do not deal with the past issues between the parties. It looks at the needs of the child and the means of the parents. We advise you to approach the Maintenance Court. Take all the proof of expenses for the child since birth.

Questions: I have a 10-year-old whom I am not allowed to see. When I wanted to see him, I was told I would never see him and that they didn’t need me or my money. They say there is a better man out there who can be a father to him. I continued paying. When I wanted my son to visit during the holidays, I was told he would never go there. My son told me that his mother said he would die if he visited me. Last December, I did as I have in previous years, which was to ask for him so I could buy him clothes, and I was told I wouldn’t get him. Then he was taken to KZN for the holidays. They will never tell me when they are taking him away; I always find out from his aunt when I call, since the mother does not stay with him. In 2010, I asked my sister to help with medical aid, which was misused by taking other kids to the doctors using his name, with one doctor telling me they are chasing them away because what they are doing is not right. Last year, they exhausted the medical aid in January alone and were told they had never taken him to the doctor, which also caused problems at work because I work with fire, and that’s why the company helps with payment. In December, I asked for him, and the same thing happened. I told her I am going to stop giving her sister money for the child because it is not a charity where you can give money and not care what happens to it. I want to give him love instead of money, since he doesn’t even get to see or know that it comes from me, and that money won’t give him the love he needs. I stopped giving her money, and yesterday I bought clothes, but she threw them away, saying we will meet in court. What should I do about this? My partner always causes problems when he’s supposed to pay maintenance, but he ends up paying. It hurts me because I don’t do things on time for the kids, as he pays me late.

Answer: We advise you to approach the Children’s Court. If you have already done so, then present your case. The Court will decide what is best for the child.

Question: My husband and I are seeking advice. He has a 10-year-old child and pays R1000 in maintenance each month. I have two children from my previous relationship that I support alone. Their father passed away. My husband and I do not have children together, so he was able to pay the R1000 each month. God has blessed us with twins due in June now. Things are quite tough financially. We wonder if he can go to court and ask to reduce the maintenance to R500 each month.

Answer: Yes, he can.

Question: Hi, my name is Noluvuyo. I have a six-month-old baby girl whose father is originally from Lesotho but is staying here in SA. He hasn’t wanted to support the child since she was born; apparently, he got married when the child was three months old.

Answer: We advise you to approach the maintenance court.

Question: Good day. Hi, I am a young mother of a 5-year-old boy. His father left me when I was 2 months pregnant. After the child was born, he supported him for 7 months. Since then, he has avoided maintaining the child. I once started a maintenance case against him, but never completed it because his wife claimed to have harmed my baby. Now, I want to pursue maintenance again. Is that possible?

Answer: Yes, you may approach the maintenance again.

Question: Hi, I am Xoliswa. I have a problem with my baby’s father. I have an 8-month-old baby girl, and he has not been supporting her since she was born. When I was pregnant, he was supportive, but the problem persisted. After I gave birth, he only gave me R500 and nothing more. Every time I ask for cash for the baby, he promises to give it, but at the end of the month, he has different stories. He said it wasn’t his child. I told him to do a DNA test; he promised to, but never did. I went to a court here in Johannesburg to request a DNA test. I was told I first need to apply for maintenance. They gave me a maintenance form to fill out. I told the baby’s father that because he doesn’t want to support his child, I am putting him on maintenance. He apologised and promised to support the child. He was supposed to start last month, but when the month ended, he made excuses claiming he was sick. I told him I would take him to court. He said that was fine with him. I advised him that if he wanted a DNA test, everything would be at his expense, but he did not reply. I was told I must apply for maintenance first; they gave me the form to complete, and I told the baby’s father that, because he doesn’t want to support his child, I am placing him on maintenance. He apologised and promised support, but he did not follow through. What should I do?

Answer: You must proceed to the Maintenance Court, and they can force a paternity test.