1.

Question:
I have a daughter who is 3 years old. I’m having a problem: the father of my daughter doesn’t support her every month. He only deposits money when he wants to. I am afraid he might leave South Africa without supporting her. He is from Swaziland.

Answer:
We advise that you approach the Maintenance Court in your area as soon as possible.

2.

Question:
I have been paying my maintenance (to avoid more blackmail) since birth, though not always on time, but I have never skipped a month for the past 5 years.
Now she just had another baby and has decided to take me to maintenance court because I refuse to double what I have been paying all these years. It’s not just money—clothes are included, and a luxury pram. Now she wants to go into my finances, knowing very well that my wife or family knows nothing about this. She had the baby against my will. She misled me to think she was not pregnant. When I found out, I gave her money for the morning-after pill and abortion. I feel like the law is protecting criminals in my case. Why is this woman failing to follow what is taught at family planning and not suffering any consequences? She is doubling my maintenance fees, yet she goes and has another baby. Why is the law so against men that even good men are destroyed by this system?

Answer:
The law requires both parents to support their children according to their means. If you feel the maintenance amount is unfair, you should present your financial information and circumstances to the court. The court will make a fair decision based on all the facts.

3.

Question:
My name is Jenny. I have two boys. Their father was supporting them, even if it was not enough, but now we have broken up. He is now married to another woman and has stopped paying for the kids. Last month, I applied for maintenance, and he just got the letter today.
He called me and said all sorts of bad things, saying I will not win in court. I am worried because I do not have slips for the money he used to send. Should I be worried about this?

Answer:
We don’t advise you to take his advice. Trust the court system. Ensure that you have proof of all expenses. Even if you do not have slips, you can still explain your situation to the court.

4.

Question:
I am a father of 5 (with 4 different mothers). I contribute roughly R3,000 (all-inclusive) for each of my kids.
One of the mothers wants an additional R1,600 (cash) and R2,000 for school fees for her child. She earns a net R19,000 and I earn a net R36,000. The maintenance officer we met at court refused to consider my additional responsibilities and said her focus is only on the child before her. Is this legal? Can I request legal representation and appear before the magistrate? Am I being inconsiderate by fighting this?
She disregarded my gym expenses and labeled them unnecessary. I also support my sick mother who lives alone in KZN and has arthritis, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Please advise.

Answer:
The court has to make a fair ruling. We advise you to provide the court with a full breakdown of your necessary expenses and income. Both parties must do this. The court will then decide what is fair.

5.

Question:
Every time I get an address for my daughter’s father to go to maintenance court, he moves, and I have to try to find him all over again. We are not getting to court. Is there a way I could trace him via cellphone? Where would I get permission to do that so I can get a proper address and get papers served to him before he moves again? It’s so hard having to keep going to file, just to be told they cannot find him anymore.

Answer:
The Maintenance Court should be able to assist you with this. They should advise you on what type of service of the subpoena the court requires.

6.

Question:
Hi there, I have been married for 13 years and have 3 sons with my wife. We have been separated for the past 7 months or so but are still living together. She recently went on vacation with my 3 sons—they are about 1,000 km away from me—and then she told me that she’s not coming back and wants a divorce. She went behind my back and got transfer cards from the current school. I love my kids and feel that I can give them a better life with me. My wife does not work and she won’t even tell me what school she’s planning on putting the kids in. I’ve always taken care of my kids. I would like to get my 3 boys back. What can I do?

Answer:
If the matter cannot be mediated and/or is urgent, we advise you to approach a lawyer and obtain a court order that the children reside with you. Feel free to call us  should you require a legal advice consultation on this issue.

7.

Question:
Hi guys, I have a problem here. It’s a long one, but I’ll try to make it short. I met this lady last year (2017). She was a friend and had a boyfriend. One day she tricked me into going with her to her sister’s place. We slept together without a condom, which I regretted. After some weeks, she kept following me and saying things like, “One day this thing of yours, wearing expensive sneakers, will end.” One day she found me with a colleague and accused me of dating her, which I wasn’t. I told her, “Even if I was, you’re not my girlfriend, you have a boyfriend, and you and I are not an item.”
Two weeks later, I received an SMS telling me she was pregnant and that there was nothing I could do about it. I asked how she knew it was mine. I said we would do DNA tests to see if the baby is mine, and she agreed. Later, she sent another SMS telling me I should involve my family and give her R500 each month.
I asked her to leave me alone. She stole my file at work to find my mom and sister’s contact numbers and called them, telling them she’s pregnant. Luckily, they didn’t entertain her. She came back to me, calling me with private numbers, threatening me with maintenance, and telling me I should give my Persal number to register for creche while she was 4 or 5 months pregnant.
This year, on 24 March, I received an SMS telling me she gave birth. I responded that I would organize a doctor so we could do a DNA test. When I checked with a doctor, she told me her mom took her away and she’s out of town in JHB, Kagiso. Again, I made an appointment at NHLS in Braamfontein. She said she was on her way but didn’t come, making excuses. I sent her an SMS to leave me alone since she knows who the father is, as she doesn’t want to do DNA tests. She responded that it’s fine, we will do DNA at the magistrate’s court. I responded that she should also tell them she refused and ran away from 3 DNA tests offered by me.
In June, she came with two officers to deliver a maintenance letter that I should be in court. The letter said I am the biological father, I don’t want to take responsibility, and she needs R2,000 each month.
I attended court on Friday the 27th. They put us in a small room; she gave her story, I gave mine, and I asked why I was there if she didn’t come for DNA and chose to come for maintenance. I wasn’t answered. I gave proof of our written communication. Then I was told I should come do DNA tests on 30 July and bring an amount of R2,000 for DNA, then we were released.
So I would like to know: is this fair, or should I be worried? What should I do or say? Word of advice, guys, please?

Answer:
If the test is positive, the maintenance process will proceed. If you are not the father, then the case will not go ahead. If you are the father, then the court would want you to pay a fair amount. Both parents must provide proof of income and expenses.